| A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. |
| The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. |
| Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there |
| Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. |
| The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" |
| The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?" |
|
|
 |
|
| Download a PDF here |
| Summary |
| Innovative art director and graphic designer for print and web with solid experience in project management. Highly proficient in conceptual design, development and production. Exceptional organizational and time management skills. |
Professional Experience |
Smart Blonde Design, Lake Oswego, OR
Owner, 1999-present |
| My capabilities are based on the experience listed below as well as current projects involving design and production of advertising, packaging, publications, logos, branding, corporate identity, web sites, brochures, direct mail, catalogs and trade show materials. |
| Clients: Cappelli Miles-spring (includes projects for Neil Kelly, PeaceHealth, Salishan Resorts and Tetherow Golf Club), Classic Foods, Ecos Consulting, Griffon May, In Good Taste, Isoprint, Lake Oswego Asset Builders Coalition, Lake Oswego School District, Lakeside Home & Gift, Laika, MKTX (includes projects for IP Fabrics, Northwest Pipe Company, Phoseon Technology, Saber Consulting, Serveron Inc. and TenAsys Corporation), Oregon Education Association, PacStar Communications, Secure One Lending, Sunwest Mortgage. Vertical Email, Wise Woman Herbals, and Zero-G, Inc. |
The Fox Creative Group Inc., Portland, OR
Art Director/Graphic Designer, 1995-1999 |
| Responsible for the design and production of a wide variety of projects ranging from packaging for the software and food and beverage industries, to corporate identities and advertising. Project involvement included initial design concept, project management and supervision, and all phases of production. |
| Clients included: BridgePort Brewing Co., Broderbund software (National Geographic Interactive products), Coffee People, Gardenburger, Inc., Gold's Gym, Mentor Graphics Corp., Mindscape, Inc., NW Palate Magazine, Pendleton Woolen Mills, and SRC Software. |
L'Oreal Cosmetic and Fragrance Division/Cosmair, Inc., New York
NY Design Director, 1987-89 |
| Directed multi-million dollar design projects for the Chaps, Ralph Lauren and Gloria Vanderbilt fragrance lines. Responsibilities included all package design, direction of still life and beauty photography, developing and monitoring budgets, supervising the art production staff and making presentations to upper management. Worked closely with the Marketing, Sales, Purchasing, Package Development and Production departments. |
Charles of the Ritz Group, Ltd., New York
NY Design Manager, 1984-87 |
| Responsible for the package design and merchandising of several product lines; managed all product redesign, special promotions and point of purchase displays. Created direct mail pieces and sales aids. Worked closely with outside vendors and freelance studios. |
| Freelance Design, 1980-84 |
| Clients: Esteé Lauder, Inc., Elizabeth Arden, Inc., JC Penney Co., Inc. Worked in-house designing marketing materials, promotional items, giftware and packaging. |
Computer Expertise |
| Proficient on both Mac and PC platforms in the following applications: Adobe CS5: InDesign, Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Flash as well as Quark Xpress, Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint. I use Mailchimp and Constant Contact and have an excellent knowledge of HTML and CSS. |
Education |
Bachelor of Arts
• College of Art & Design, Iowa State University, Ames, IA |
Post Graduate Studies
• Basic and Advanced Web Design, Portland Community College
• Computer Graphics, University of Oregon, Portland Campus
• Graphic Design & Communication, School of Visual Arts, NY, NY
• Advertising Design, Fashion Institute of Technology, NY, NY
• Art History and Printmaking, University of Colorado, Boulder, CO |
Memberships and Activities |
• 1999–present Member, Lake Oswego Chamber of Commerce
• 2010-present, Board of Directors, Willamette Women Democrats
• 2010-present, Selection Committee Lake Oswego Arts Council, Chronicle Exhibition
• 2005–2010 Board of Directors, Lake Oswego School District Foundation
• 2005–2010 Founding Member, Lake Oswego Special Education PTA (LOSEPTA)
• 2005-present Graphic Artists Guild |
| Professional references and portfolio available upon request. |
|